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| Categories | Genre Fiction |
| Author | Colleen Hoover |
| Publisher | Atria Books; Standard Edition (August 5, 2014) |
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 336 pages |
| Item Weight | 9.6 ounces |
| Dimensions | 0.94 x 5.39 x 8.19 inches |
I. Book introduction
“Ugly Love” by Colleen Hoover is a contemporary romance novel that delves into themes of love, loss, healing, and forgiveness. The story follows the tumultuous relationship between Tate Collins and Miles Archer, two individuals with complex pasts and emotional scars.
From Colleen Hoover, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of It Ends With Us, aheart-wrenching love story that proves attraction at first sight can be messy.
When Tate Collins meets airline pilot Miles Archer, she doesn’t think it’s love at first sight. They wouldn’t even go so far as to consider themselves friends. The only thing Tate and Miles have in common is an undeniable mutual attraction. Once their desires are out in the open, they realize they have the perfect set-up. He doesn’t want love, she doesn’t have time for love, so that just leaves the sex. Their arrangement could be surprisingly seamless, as long as Tate can stick to the only two rules Miles has for her.
Never ask about the past.
Don’t expect a future.
They think they can handle it, but realize almost immediately they can’t handle it at all.
Hearts get infiltrated.
Promises get broken.
Rules get shattered.
Love gets ugly.
Editorial Reviews
- “Hoover builds a terrific new-adult world here with two people growing in their careers and discovering mature love.” (Booklist (starred review) )
- “A must-read book of the year! I loved every word, I felt every moment, and I will never forget this story. I don’t give out a lot of 6 star ratings (in fact this will be the first one I’ve given this year) but the truth is that this book went above and beyond. The story was powerful, the writing was stunning, and the way every single piece of it was woven together was simply breathtaking.” (Aestas, blog review )
- “By the end of this book, my heart was aching and rejoicing at the same time from the countless emotions it had been exposed to. This is the sexiest, most heart-wrenching Colleen Hoover book to date—a book that shows us a brand new side of this author’s writing genius, and it is in my humble opinion, her best work thus far.” (Natasha is a Book Junkie, blog review )
- “Colleen Hoover once again proves she’s a master storyteller in her best and boldest work to date.” (Vilma Iris’ Blog )
- “She’s done it again, my friends. And to be honest I didn’t think she was ever going to write something I loved more than MAYBE SOMEDAY, but I was book hung over for 2 full days after UGLY LOVE.” (Me, My Shelf, & I, blog review )
- “I fell in love with this book from the very first chapter.” (Owl Always be Reading, blog review )
- “Ugly Love is another hit from Colleen Hoover that will leave your heart open and exposed to the myriad of emotions Tate and Miles’ story will inflict upon it.” (Lovin Los Libros, blog review )
- “ Colleen Hoover has given us a story that is full of emotion…. she stayed true to her reputation of writing characters that are real and a story that is both compelling and powerful.” (A Literary Perusal, blog review )
- “Colleen Hoover just demolished me. Completely and 100% blew me away…not that I’m surprised or anything because she never ceases to amaze me…. I was pulled in from the beginning…and I loved every second of it!” (True Story Book Blog, blog tour review )
- “Thank you for another ‘rip my heart out’ excursion … and with Ugly Love you somehow managed to do it TWICE! And I loved every bit of it!” (The Real Housewives of Romance, blog tour review )
- “If you were to only read one book this year, make that book Ugly Love…. It’s definitely my favorite book of all time, and that’s not a phrase that I use lightly.” (Kayla’s Reads & Reviews, blog tour review )
- “I LOVED this book. I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. to finish it, something I haven’t done in ages…. Ugly Love was a riveting page-turner that I couldn’t put down.” (Reading Books like a Boss, blog review )
- “Colleen is an artist. She has this uncanny ability to take normal, everyday words and somehow turn them into the most beautiful poetry I’ve ever read. The beauty of her lyrical writing style made me teary-eyed countless times. She can take something so simple and make it so powerful.” (Nestled in a Book, blog review )
- “Colleen Hoover does it again. She always creates a story that gets under your skin and hits you right in the heart. Ugly Love was no exception. Miles and Tate have a very intense story to be told and only Colleen Hoover could do it justice.” (Readers Live a 1000 Lives, blog tour review )
- “I’m not sure my heart will ever forget this book. Incredible read!!!” (Flirty and Dirty Book Blog, blog tour review )
- “Colleen Hoover has done it again. Her words have wholly altered me, mind, body, and spirit. I can’t explain what I’ve done or where I’ve been the past few hours, and the only thing that is in my mind is WOW.” (The Scarlet Siren, blog tour review )
- “Ugly Love carries the kinship of stellar writing, (poetry, really), searing emotion, and a story that hits you in your very core.” (I Heart Big Books, blog tour review)
- “I LOVE everything and anything that this woman writes…This is everything we come to expect from Ms. Hoover and SO MUCH more! You know when you come across a book and you don’t know what to say about it other than that you loved it and it was amazing?! Well thats how I feel about Ugly Love. JUST READ IT! TRUST ME!” (Shh Mom’s Reading, blog tour review)
About the Author
Colleen Hoover (born Margaret Colleen Fennell on December 11, 1979) is an American author of young adult fiction and romance novels. Many of her works have been self-published before being picked up by a publishing house.
Colleen Hoover is the #1 New York Times and International bestselling author of multiple novels and novellas. She lives in Texas with her husband and their three boys. She is the founder of The Bookworm Box, a non-profit book subscription service and bookstore in Sulphur Springs, Texas.
Hoover was born on December 11, 1979, in Sulphur Springs, Texas, to Vannoy Fite and Eddie Fennell. She grew up in Saltillo, Texas, and graduated from Saltillo High School in 1998. In 2000, she married Heath Hoover, with whom she has three sons. Hoover graduated from Texas A&M-Commerce with a degree in social work. She worked various social work and teaching jobs until starting her writing career.
In November 2011, Hoover began her first novel, Slammed, with no intention of getting published. She was inspired by a lyric, “decide what to be and go be it”, from an Avett Brothers song, “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise.” Because of this, she incorporated Avett Brothers lyrics throughout the story. Slammed was published in January 2011. After a few months, the novel was reviewed and given 5 stars by book blogger Maryse Black, after which sales rapidly took off for Hoover’s first two books.
In December 2012, Hoover published Hopeless, which rose to the top of the New York Times best seller list
In 2021, Hoover experienced a surge in popularity due to her heart wrenching stories and characters and the attention from the #BookTok community on TikTok. In January 2022, her 2016 novel It Ends with Us was #1 on The New York Times best sellers list.
For more information and for a schedule of events, please visit colleenhoover.com.
To contact Colleen and her team (Her team’s name is Stephanie), please email hooverink@outlook.com
II. Reviewer: Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
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1. JESSICA reviews for Ugly Love
im a simple woman – give me a colleen hoover book and i will read it, no questions asked. its as easy as that!
my love for CoHo aside, let me begin by saying i can understand why this book has received a lot of mixed reviews and negative feelings. i really do. because this is probably my least favourite book of hers that i have read thus far. i know my rating suggests otherwise, but there is just something missing from this story that i normally expect from her books. however, i dont think this is terrible. quite the opposite. i actually still really liked this, it just doesnt feel like its in the same league as her other novels.
and i think that has to do with the relationship portrayed and maybe parts of the writing where a different writing style is used. but mainly i think it has to do with the relationship. i wouldnt go as far as calling it toxic, but it definitely isnt healthy. granted, miles was always upfront with what he wanted out of the arrangement, but i think tate was wrong to always lie about her feelings. im all for casual flings between two consenting adults, but it gets sooo muddy once one person starts to hide how they really feel about everything and sticking around with the hope that things will one day change (talking from personal experience here). it gets ugly – just like the title of this implies. true, there is a lot of backstory and reasoning behind why everything plays out the way it does, but it is what it is.
i do appreciate what CoHo does here though, by showing the downright ugly and painful parts of love. i think there is a really great message to be had when you realise that the bad parts of a relationship help you to appreciate the good, making you realise everything is worth it. its definitely a side of romance novels that i havent read about before and i quite enjoyed the new perspective. the characters are decent, the writing and pacing are solid, and i walked away from this feeling beyond satisfied. so another CoHo book down and many more to go!
↠ 4.5 stars
2. KRISTIN reviews for Ugly Love
*4.5 stars*
Ugly Love wasn’t quite as ugly as I thought it would be, but this emotionally-charged love story definitely had its share of un-pretty moments.
This book seems to be generating some mixed emotions amongst CoHo fans as far as her unique writing style is concerned.
Yes, it’s slightly different from this author’s usual style. Certain pieces of the book are more lyrically pronounced, but I’ve always found her writing to carry a heavy poetic prose.
This story in particular emphasizes that prose, and I felt the structure of certain chapters made its delivery that much more effective. There were intense moments where the writing looked and felt like it was falling down off the pages. It doesn’t follow a specific formula and it breaks the rules. I like rule breakers. And I liked Ugly Love.
Tate meets Miles when she moves into her brother’s apartment complex. A physical attraction is quick to ignite, and Miles makes it very clear that he can offer sex and nothing more. His damaged past has ruined him for any chance at future love. And so Tate, being the strong, independent female that she is, strikes a sex-only deal with Miles.
No love. No problems. Right?
When love slowly enters the equation, Miles’ rules are put to the test. Inviting in the ugly…
The chapters in this story oscillate between past and present, with alternating perspectives. Tate’s romance with Miles takes place in present time, while flashbacks of Miles’ dark past are woven in between.
I loved how natural the dialogue felt, and how easy it was for me to sink into both stories until they eventually collided.
This book really narrows in on the romance, without too much side story. Although the romance was certainly strong enough to carry out the plot, I did find myself wishing for a little expansion.
But here is what I think most die-hard romance fans will love: Miles. He is a truly amazing hero. Brooding and broken, yet protective and slightly possessive. His character remained consistent. He doesn’t lose his edge and dump his problems the minute he meets Tate. He evolves. Slowly—not with the simple turn of a page, and I appreciated the realistic pace.
There is tons (and tons) of steam in this book, in case you’re interested. Handled well, might I add. I’m not one for the overuse of sex to fill a plot, but boy, was this done well.
My favorite element of this story, however—as with all of Ms. Hoover’s books—is the writing. SO powerful, I get chills. Even highlighting a line doesn’t seem to do it justice. I want to commit it to memory. There is not a book this author has written that hasn’t broadened my way of thinking just a little more with every profound quote I come upon. And Ugly Love was certainly no exception. A GREAT READ.
“It’s the beautiful moments like these that make up for the ugly love.”
3. ELLIE SPENCER reviews for Ugly Love
I feel a little conflicted with my rating for this one. If I was basing it on emotions I’d give it 5 stars. If I was basing it on romance, I’d probably give it 2 stars.
Ugly Love follows Tate, a young nurse who recently moved in with her brother, and Miles her brothers pilot friend. When their lives are thrown together, they cannot deny their attraction for each other. But Miles is closed off and insists he doesn’t want love. Can Tate accept what he is willing to give?
I can finally say that I absolutely understand why people rave about Colleen Hoover so much. She knows just how to craft a beautiful and moving story that tackles so many difficult topics, but it still easy to read. I found myself on the verge of tears whilst reading some of the final chapters in this book. I know that the topics in this book will be difficult for many to read. But she manages to handle it so sensitively and in such a beautiful way.
My issue with this book was the romance. It was very realistic in some ways. I’ve been in Tate’s position before…when I was younger and convinced that the man would change his mind. I just wanted to shake her and tell her not to accept less than she deserves. I found it so hard to root for Tate and Miles as a couple, although I did want the best for them separately. However, I appreciate how Hoover is able to create such flawed and realistic characters. They truly feel like people you would meet in real life. I just wanted Miles to be less cold, and Tate to be less naïve. Regardless, there is still a very important story within these pages of lessening pain and grief with time. This was the story I loved.
I recommend this for fans of contemporary chick lit. But please be aware that the ‘romance’ aspect won’t suit everyone.
4. NATASHA POLIS reviews for Ugly Love
I finished this book in 12 hours. ONE DAY. I finished it in one day. I’m giving it 5 stars because I still can’t believe that I, Natasha Polis, finished a book in a day. I’ve never done that before. Ever. It was so good and so entertaining. Lots of sexytimes, very mature scenes, which I did enjoy but still not heavily detailed which I’m very thankful for. The emotions and tears I felt for and had for Miles really made this book. I can’t wait to read another Colleen Hoover book!
5. MELISSA ALVARADO reviews for Ugly Love
I really enjoyed reading this, I can’t spoil much but I do feel like the ending was rushed. The book was really good to just skip a few life scenes. It’s very emotional; heartbreaking, intense, and romantic. It has a two sided point of view which leads you understand each character. I recommend it, you will find your self hooked and passionate to keep reading. That’s what Colleen is good at.
6. DORI OWEN reviews for Ugly Love
Another Colleen Hoover beautiful book!
I imagine Colleen Hoover sitting at her desk writing another original love story and this is quite the love story. Miles and Tate take on an impossible relationship based on sex without love (c’mon, who’s falling for that?) This is a lovely story that is really more about Miles and his hurtful background which is why he has strict rules about sex and no love. Of course the more rules are presented, the more Tate falls for him. Miles’ background is easy to guess but presented in a now and then style which makes for an interesting read. Of course, everything ends as it should and I would recommend this to all of Hoover’s fans.
7. EMMA WAGNER reviews for Ugly Love
The romantic novel, Ugly Love portrays the theme of, not letting your past demons affect your present life and closure is important to move forward. The main character, Tate, is a girl who moves in with her brother. She has a weird first encounter with a guy named Tate and little does she know what she has in store. Miles is a guy with trauma from his past that he doesn’t talk about. Miles and Tate are obviously very attracted to each other but Miles has 2 rules. Those rules are as follows ¨don’t ask about my past and don’t expect a future.¨ Tate is a very sweet girl full of hope and optimism and always wants the full story. Miles is a person who likes to keep to himself. They have this attraction towards each other that neither of them can deny but Tate does his best to not show it because he doesn’t want to hurt tate. Every other chapter of this story is a flashback to Miles’ life growing up. These flashbacks build up to the story of why Miles is doing the things he’s doing and what has made him become this emotionless feelingless man. Tate is so eager to know everything about his past but miles simply won’t budge. Overall I think that this book is absolutely amazing. Colleen Hoover is such a great author and has great writing techniques. My favorite part of the book is when you find out hy miles is the way he is. I think Colleen Hoover is so incredibly creative for this. The element of surprise and shock in this story is great and it really keeps you on the edge of your seat. When I was reading this book I did not want to put it down because there was always something new or surprising happening.
8. KATERINA reviews for Ugly Love
I don’t think that I can say anything that hasn’t been said before about Ugly Love,nor that my tangled thoughts will do justice to a book that was more than a book,but I know one thing for certain.It left me an ugly mess.And it proved that love is beautiful.
“God gives us the ugliness so we don’t take the beautiful things in life for granted.”
I ate a bucket of ice cream and cried my eyes out to get over the sorrow that tried to consume me,but it wasn’t enough.The only way to make sure that my heart is still in place is the pain that pierces it with every breath I take.I cursed Colleen Hoover for bringing me to a sobbing state,for writing so vividly and masterly that my heartbreak is a being of its own,for making me care more for fictional people than the ones I know in real life,and thanked her at the same time.For making me feel alive,even though it was killing me.
“Love isn’t always pretty, Tate. Sometimes you spend all your time hoping it’ll eventually be something different. Something better. Then, before you know it, you’re back to square one, and you lost your heart somewhere along the way.”
The love between Tate and Miles was ugly.Dark.Twisted.Strained.A constant war.A losing battle.Tate tried so hard to make him see that they had something worth fighting for,but Miles was adamant that he was incapable of love.
“If I were capable of loving someone…it would be you.”
The worst thing was that he didn’t even try.He shut her down,broke her,gave her a glimpse of what lay beneath his usually emotionless eyes and then took it back.He made her regret time and time again her decision to keep things between them strictly physical.He took only what he wanted from her,her body,and he refused what she willingly gave him.Her soul.Her heart.Because his was hidden under layers of ice,guilt and grief.His lust for her was unadultered,and Tate tried to accept that,that sex was the only thing she would get from him.Because the idea of not having Miles in her life was even more excruciating.
“I’m terrified to lose him for good, so I sell myself short and take what I can from him, even though I know I deserve better.”
Miles was a contradiction.I wanted to yell at him,to punch him and make him see that he can find beauty,he can find a person to rely on without regrets.But as much as I wanted to hate him,I couldn’t.Instead,I suffered with him.I think the moment I fell in love with him was when he helped that homeless person,and although his attempts to push Tate away killed me slowly,my heart ached for him.Tate was losing her heart piece by piece as long as she let him make the rules,she loved him enough to let him use her to numb his pain,and she hoped.She hoped that he would love her back.Even though he was breaking her in the process.
“His lips against mine feel like everything. Like living and dying and being reborn, all at the same time.”
The pain and the heartbreak Ugly Love put me through?It was worth it.
9. SOPHIA JUDICE reviews for Ugly Love
alright. so, that was probably one of the saddest books i’ve ever read. i’m not kidding. it’s really intense and painful. it’s also so beautiful and hopeful. there’s also some of the best smut i’ve ever read lol. the sexual tension is CRAZY, too. the situation where two people in a relationship (or lack thereof) have different expectations for the future (or lack thereof) is entirely relatable. i’ve been on both sides of that and both sides suck, so this book really hit home. i felt really conflicted at times, because i wanted tate to understand that she deserves more, but knowing what miles has gone through made me sympathize with him a lot, as well. i really loved this book, and i think it’s worth a read if you’re in the mood for a good cry.
10. JADE SAUL reviews for Ugly Love
In Colleen Hoover awesome Romance novel Ugly Love is a story of Tate and Miles who are neighbors who form friends with benefits. I could stop reading this awesome romance book and I love Tate she is such a lovely character I was mad at Miles for treating her the way he did.
III. Ugly Love Quotes by Colleen Hoover
The best book quotes from Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
“It’s the beautiful moments like these that make up for the ugly love.”
“When life gives you lemons, make sure you know whose eyes you need to squeeze them in.”
“I suppose if a man lived through the ugliest side of love, he might never want to experience it again.”
“Love isn’t always pretty. Sometimes you spend all your time hoping it’ll eventually be something different. Something better. Then, before you know it, you’re back to square one, and you lost your heart somewhere along the way.”
“God gives us the ugliness so we don’t take the beautiful things in life for granted.”
“I didn’t fall in love with you… I flew.”
“Sometimes not speaking says more than all the words in the world.”
“Ugly love becomes you. Consumes you. Makes you hate it all. Makes you realize that all the beautiful parts aren’t even worth it. Without the beautiful, you’ll never risk feeling the ugly. So you give it all up. You give it all up. You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.”
“It’s the beautiful moments like this that make up for the ugly love”
“Some people they grow wiser as they grow older. Unfortunately, most people just grow older.”
“The pain will always be there.
So will the fear.
But the pain and fear are no longer my life. They’re only moments.”“That’s how it is when a person develops an attraction toward someone. He’s nowhere, then suddenly he’s everywhere, whether you want him to be or not.”
“But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me . . . or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life.”
“What rules?”
“Well, for one, I’m not allowed to break your heart,” he says. “Second, I’m also not allowed to break your damn heart. And last, I’m not allowed to fucking break your damn heart.”“Hearts get infiltrated.
Promises get broken.
Rules get shattered.
Love gets ugly.”“If I were capable of loving someone . . . it would be you.”
“You’re looking at me like you fell in love with me.”
“I didn’t fall in love with you. I flew.”“Whoever coined the phrase, I love you to death obviously never experienced the kind of love Tate and I share. If that were the case, the phrase would be I love you to life. Because that’s exactly what Tate did. She loved me back to life.”
“The smaller the house, the more a family is forced to love one another.”
“The ugly parts of love can’t lift you up.
They bring you
D
O
W
N.
They hold you under.
Drown you.
You look up and think, I wish I was up there.
But you’re not.
Ugly love becomes you.
Consumes you.
Makes you hate it all.
Makes you realize that all the beautiful parts aren’t even worth it. Without the beautiful, you’ll never risk feeling this.
You’ll never risk feeling the ugly.
So you give it up. You give it all up. You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.
I’ll never let myself love anyone again, Rachel.
Ever.”“I know the thought of confronting your past terrifies you.It terrifies every man. But sometimes we don’t do it ourselves. We do it for the people we love more than ourselves.”
“I’m terrified to lose him for good, so I sell myself short and take what I can from him, even though I know I deserve better.”
“Love isn’t always pretty, Tate. Sometimes you spend all your time hoping it’ll eventually be something different. Something better. Then, before you know it, you’re back to square one, and you lost your heart somewhere along the way.”
“Listen, Tate. I want your mess. I want your clothes on my bedroom floor. I want your toothbrush in my bathroom. I want your shoes in my closet. I want your mediocre leftovers in my fridge.”
“You deserve so much more than what you’re allowing yourself to have.”
“There’s nothing in the world that compares to the feel and smell of brand-new rain.”
“It may be a small piece at a time, but my past is yours now. All of it. Anything you want to know, I want to tell you. But only if you promise me I can also have your future.”
“If you love me more today than you loved me yesterday, then I can’t wait for tomorrow,” she says.”
“Sometimes not speaking says more than all the words in the world. Sometimes my silence is saying, I don’t know how to speak to you. I don’t know what you’re thinking. Talk to me. Tell me everything you’ve ever said. All the words. Starting form the very first one.”
“She’s like poetry. Like prose and love letters and lyrics, cascading down the center of a page.”
“He laughs with relief. “Yes.” The word yes is so much more beautiful coming from his mouth, laced with that voice. He could probably make any word beautiful. I try to think of a word I hate. I kind of hate the word ox. It’s an ugly word. Too short and clipped. I wonder if his voice could make me love that word. “Say the word ox.” His eyebrow rises, like he’s wondering if he heard me right. He thinks I’m weird. I don’t care. “Just say it,” I tell him. “Ox,” he says, with slight hesitation. I smile. I love the word ox. It’s my new favorite word.”
Excerpted from Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
Chapter One: Tate chapter one TATE
“Somebody stabbed you in the neck, young lady.”
My eyes widen, and I slowly turn toward the elderly gentleman standing at my side. He presses the up button on the elevator and faces me. He smiles and points to my neck.
“Your birthmark,” he says.
My hand instinctively goes up to my neck, and I touch the dime-sized mark just below my ear.
“My grandfather used to say the placement of a birthmark was the story of how a person lost the battle in their past life. I guess you got stabbed in the neck. Bet it was a quick death, though.”
I smile, but I can’t tell if I should be afraid or entertained. Despite his somewhat morbid opening conversation, he can’t be that dangerous. His curved posture and shaky stance give away that he isn’t a day less than eighty years old. He takes a few slow steps toward one of two velvet red chairs that are positioned against the wall next to the elevator. He grunts as he sinks into the chair and then looks up at me again.
“You going up to floor eighteen?”
My eyes narrow as I process his question. He somehow knows what floor I’m going to, even though this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in this apartment complex, and it’s definitely the first time I’ve ever laid eyes on this man.
“Yes, sir,” I say cautiously. “Do you work here?”
“I do indeed.”
He nods his head toward the elevator, and my eyes move to the illuminated numbers overhead. Eleven floors to go before it arrives. I pray it gets here quickly.
“I push the button for the elevator,” he says. “I don’t think there’s an official title for my position, but I like to refer to myself as a flight captain, considering I do send people as high as twenty stories up in the air.”
I smile at his words, since my brother and father are both pilots. “How long have you been flight captain of this elevator?” I ask as I wait. I swear this is the slowest damn elevator I’ve ever encountered.
“Since I got too old to do maintenance on this building. Worked here thirty-two years before I became captain. Been sending people on flights now for more than fifteen years, I think. Owner gave me a pity job to keep me busy till I died.” He smiles to himself. “What he didn’t realize is that God gave me a lot of great things to accomplish in my life, and right now, I’m so far behind I ain’t ever gonna die.”
I find myself laughing when the elevator doors finally open. I reach down to grab the handle of my suitcase and turn to him one more time before I step inside. “What’s your name?”
“Samuel, but call me Cap,” he says. “Everybody else does.”
“You got any birthmarks, Cap?”
He grins. “As a matter of fact, I do. Seems in my past life, I was shot right in the ass. Must have bled out.”
I smile and bring my hand to my forehead, giving him a proper captain’s salute. I step into the elevator and turn around to face the open doors, admiring the extravagance of the lobby. This place seems more like a historic hotel than an apartment complex, with its expansive columns and marble floors.
When Corbin said I could stay with him until I found a job, I had no idea he lived like an actual adult. I thought it would be similar to the last time I visited him, right after I graduated from high school, back when he had first started working toward his pilot’s license. That was four years and a two-story sketchy complex ago. That’s kind of what I was expecting.
I certainly wasn’t anticipating a high-rise smack dab in the middle of downtown San Francisco.
I find the panel and press the button for the eighteenth floor, then look up at the mirrored wall of the elevator. I spent all day yesterday and most of this morning packing up everything I own from my apartment back in San Diego. Luckily, I don’t own much. But after making the solo five-hundred-mile drive today, my exhaustion is pretty evident in my reflection. My hair is in a loose knot on top of my head, secured with a pencil, since I couldn’t find a hair tie while I was driving. My eyes are usually as brown as my hazelnut hair, but right now, they look ten shades darker, thanks to the bags under them.
I reach into my purse to find a tube of ChapStick, hoping to salvage my lips before they end up as weary-looking as the rest of me. As soon as the elevator doors begin to close, they open again. A guy is rushing toward the elevators, preparing to walk on as he acknowledges the old man. “Thanks, Cap,” he says.
I can’t see Cap from inside the elevator, but I hear him grunt something in return. He doesn’t sound nearly as eager to make small talk with this guy as he was with me. This man looks to be in his late twenties at most. He grins at me, and I know exactly what’s going through his mind, considering he just slid his left hand into his pocket.
The hand with the wedding ring on it.
“Floor ten,” he says without looking away from me. His eyes fall to what little cleavage is peeking out of my shirt, and then he looks at the suitcase by my side. I press the button for floor ten. I should have worn a sweater.
“Moving in?” he asks, blatantly staring at my shirt again.
I nod, although I doubt he notices, considering his gaze isn’t planted anywhere near my face.
“What floor?”
Oh, no, you don’t. I reach beside me and cover all the buttons on the panel with my hands to hide the illuminated eighteenth-floor button, and then I press every single button between floors ten and eighteen. He glances at the panel, confused.
“None of your business,” I say.
He laughs.
He thinks I’m kidding.
He arches his dark, thick eyebrow. It’s a nice eyebrow. It’s attached to a nice face, which is attached to a nice head, which is attached to a nice body.
A married body.
Asshole.
He grins seductively after seeing me check him out—only I wasn’t checking him out the way he thinks I was. In my mind, I was wondering how many times that body has been pressed against a girl who wasn’t his wife.
I feel sorry for his wife.
He’s looking at my cleavage again when we reach floor ten. “I can help you with that,” he says, nodding toward my suitcase. His voice is nice. I wonder how many girls have fallen for that married voice. He walks toward me and reaches to the panel, bravely pressing the button that closes the doors.
I hold his stare and press the button to open the doors. “I’ve got it.”
He nods as if he understands, but there’s still a wicked gleam in his eyes that reaffirms my immediate dislike of him. He steps out of the elevator and turns to face me before walking away.
“Catch you later, Tate,” he says, just as the doors close.
I frown, not comfortable with the fact that the only two people I’ve interacted with since walking into this apartment building already know who I am.
I remain alone on the elevator as it stops on every single floor until it reaches the eighteenth. I step off, pull my phone out of my pocket, and open up my messages to Corbin. I can’t remember which apartment number he said was his. It’s either 1816 or 1814.
Maybe it’s 1826?
I come to a stop at 1814, because there’s a guy passed out on the floor of the hallway, leaning against the door to 1816.
Please don’t let it be 1816.
I find the message on my phone and cringe. It’s 1816.
Of course it is.
I walk slowly to the door, hoping I don’t wake up the guy. His legs are sprawled out in front of him, and he’s leaning with his back propped up against Corbin’s door. His chin is tucked to his chest, and he’s snoring.
“Excuse me,” I say, my voice just above a whisper.
He doesn’t move.
I lift my leg and poke his shoulder with my foot. “I need to get into this apartment.”
He rustles and then slowly opens his eyes and stares straight ahead at my legs.
His eyes meet my knees, and his eyebrows furrow as he slowly leans forward with a deep scowl on his face. He lifts a hand and pokes my knee with his finger, almost as if he’s never seen a knee before. He drops his hand, closes his eyes, and falls back asleep against the door.
Great.
Corbin won’t be back until tomorrow, so I dial his number to see if this guy is someone I should be concerned about.
“Tate?” he asks, answering his phone without a hello.
“Yep,” I reply. “Made it safe, but I can’t get in because there’s a drunk guy passed out at your front door. Suggestions?”
“Eighteen sixteen?” he asks. “You sure you’re at the right apartment?”
“Positive.”
“Are you sure he’s drunk?”
“Positive.”
“Weird,” he says. “What’s he wearing?”
“Why do you want to know what he’s wearing?”
“If he’s wearing a pilot’s uniform, he probably lives in the building. The complex contracts with our airline.”
This guy isn’t wearing any type of uniform, but I can’t help but notice that his jeans and black T-shirt do fit him very nicely.
“No uniform,” I say.
“Can you get past him without waking him up?”
“I’d have to move him. He’ll fall inside if I open the door.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds while he thinks. “Go downstairs and ask for Cap,” he says. “I told him you were coming tonight. He can wait with you until you’re inside the apartment.”
I sigh, because I’ve been driving for six hours, and going all the way back downstairs is not something I feel like doing right now. I also sigh because Cap is the last person who could probably help in this situation.
“Just stay on the phone with me until I’m inside your apartment.”
I like my plan a lot better. I balance my phone against my ear with my shoulder and dig inside my purse for the key Corbin sent me. I insert it into the lock and begin to open the door, but the drunk guy begins to fall backward with every inch the door opens. He groans, but his eyes don’t open again.
“It’s too bad he’s wasted,” I tell Corbin. “He’s not bad-looking.”
“Tate, just get your ass inside and lock the door so I can hang up.”
I roll my eyes. He’s still the same bossy brother he always was. I knew that moving in with him would not be good for our relationship, considering how fatherly he acted toward me when we were younger. However, I had no time to find a job, get my own apartment, and get settled before my new classes started, so it left me with little choice.
I’m hoping things will be different between us now, though. Corbin is twenty-five, and I’m twenty-three, so if we can’t get along better than we did as kids, we’ve got a lot of growing up left to do.
I guess that mostly depends on Corbin and whether he’s changed since we last lived together. He had an issue with anyone I dated, all of my friends, every choice I made—even what college I wanted to attend. Not that I ever paid any attention to his opinion, though. The distance and time apart has seemed to get him off my back for the last few years, but moving in with him will be the ultimate test of our patience.
I wrap my purse around my shoulder, but it gets caught on my suitcase handle, so I just let it fall to the floor. I keep my left hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob and hold the door shut so the guy won’t fall completely into the apartment. I take my foot and press it against his shoulder, pushing him from the center of the doorway.
He doesn’t budge.
“Corbin, he’s too heavy. I’m gonna have to hang up so I can use both hands.”
“No, don’t hang up. Just put the phone in your pocket, but don’t hang up.”
I look down at the oversized shirt and leggings I have on. “No pockets. You’re going in the bra.”
Corbin makes a gagging sound as I pull the phone from my ear and shove it inside my bra. I remove the key from the lock and drop it toward my purse, but it misses and falls to the floor. I reach down to grab the drunk guy so I can move him out of the way.
“All right, buddy,” I say, struggling to pull him away from the center of the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt your nap, but I need inside this apartment.”
I somehow manage to prop him up against the doorframe to prevent him from falling into the apartment, and then I push the door open farther and turn to get my things.
Something warm wraps around my ankle.
I freeze.
I look down.
“Let go of me!” I yell, kicking at the hand that’s gripping my ankle so tightly I’m pretty sure it might bruise. The drunk guy is looking up at me now, and his grip sends me falling backward into the apartment when I try to pull away from him.
“I need to get in there,” he mutters, just as my butt meets the floor. He makes an attempt to push the apartment door open with his other hand, and this immediately sends me into panic mode. I pull my legs the rest of the way inside, and his hand comes with me. I use my free leg to kick the door shut, slamming it directly onto his wrist.
“Shit!” he yells. He’s trying to pull his hand back into the hallway with him, but my foot is still pressing against the door. I release enough pressure for him to have his hand back, and then I immediately kick the door all the way shut. I pull myself up and lock the door, the dead bolt, and the chain lock as quickly as I can.
As soon as my heart rate begins to calm down, it starts to scream at me.
My heart is actually screaming at me.
In a deep male voice.
It sounds like it’s yelling, “Tate! Tate!”
Corbin.
I immediately look down at my chest and pull my phone out of my bra, then bring it up to my ear.
“Tate! Answer me!”
I wince, then pull the phone several inches from my ear. “I’m fine,” I say, out of breath. “I’m inside. I locked the door.”
“Jesus Christ!” he says, relieved. “You scared me to death. What the hell happened?”
“He was trying to get inside. I locked the door, though.” I flip on the living-room light and take no more than three steps inside before I come to a halt.
Good going, Tate.
I slowly turn back toward the door after realizing what I’ve done.
“Um. Corbin?” I pause. “I might have left a few things outside that I need. I would just grab them, but the drunk guy thinks he needs to get inside your apartment for some reason, so there’s no way I’m opening that door again. Any suggestions?”
He’s silent for a few seconds. “What did you leave in the hallway?”
I don’t want to answer him, but I do. “My suitcase.”
“Christ, Tate,” he mutters.
“And… my purse.”
“Why the hell is your purse outside?”
“I might have also left the key to your apartment on the hallway floor.”
He doesn’t even respond to that one. He just groans. “I’ll call Miles and see if he’s home yet. Give me two minutes.”
“Wait. Who’s Miles?”
“He lives across the hall. Whatever you do, don’t open the door again until I call you back.”
Corbin hangs up, and I lean against his front door.
I’ve lived in San Francisco all of thirty minutes, and I’m already being a pain in his ass. Figures. I’ll be lucky if he lets me stay here until I find a job. I hope that doesn’t take long, considering I applied for three RN positions at the closest hospital. It might mean working nights, weekends, or both, but I’ll take what I can get if it prevents me from having to dip into savings while I’m back in school.
My phone rings. I slide my thumb across the screen and answer it. “Hey.”
“Tate?”
“Yep,” I reply, wondering why he always double-checks to see if it’s me. He called me, so who else would be answering it who sounds exactly like me?
“I got hold of Miles.”
“Good. Is he gonna help me get my stuff?”
“Not exactly,” Corbin says. “I kind of need you to do me a huge favor.”
My head falls against the door again. I have a feeling the next few months are going to be full of inconvenient favors, since he knows he’s doing me a huge one by letting me stay here. Dishes? Check. Corbin’s laundry? Check. Corbin’s grocery shopping? Check.
“What do you need?” I ask him.
“Miles kind of needs your help.”
“The neighbor?” I pause as soon as it clicks, and I close my eyes. “Corbin, please don’t tell me the guy you called to protect me from the drunk guy is the drunk guy.”
Corbin sighs. “I need you to unlock the door and let him in. Let him crash on the couch. I’ll be there first thing in the morning. When he sobers up, he’ll know where he is, and he’ll go straight home.”
I shake my head. “What kind of apartment complex are you living in? Do I need to prepare to be groped by drunk people every time I come home?”
Long pause. “He groped you?”
“?‘Grope’ might be a bit strong. He did grab my ankle, though.”
Corbin lets out a sigh. “Just do this for me, Tate. Call me back when you’ve got him and all your stuff inside.”
“Fine.” I groan, recognizing the worry in his voice.
I hang up with Corbin and open the door. The drunk guy falls onto his shoulder, and his cell phone slips from his hand and lands on the floor next to his head. I flip him onto his back and look down at him. He cracks his eyes open and attempts to look up at me, but his eyelids fall shut again.
“You’re not Corbin,” he mutters.
“No. I’m not. But I am your new neighbor, and from the looks of it, you’re about to owe me at least fifty cups of sugar.”
I lift him by his shoulders and try to get him to sit up, but he doesn’t. I don’t think he can, actually. How does a person even get this drunk?
I grab his hands and pull him inch by inch into the apartment, stopping when he’s just far enough inside for me to be able to close the door. I retrieve all of my things from outside the apartment, then shut and lock the front door. I grab a throw pillow from the couch, prop his head up, and roll him onto his side in case he pukes in his sleep.
And that’s all the help he’s getting from me.
When he’s comfortably asleep in the middle of the living-room floor, I leave him there while I look around the apartment.
The living room alone could fit three of the living rooms from Corbin’s last apartment. The dining area is open to the living room, but the kitchen is separated from the living room by a half-wall. There are several modern paintings throughout the room, and the thick, plush sofas are a light tan, offsetting the vibrant paintings. The last time I stayed with him, he had a futon, a beanbag chair, and posters of models on the walls.
I think my brother might finally be growing up.
“Very impressive, Corbin,” I say out loud as I walk from room to room and flip on all the lights, inspecting what has just become my temporary home. I kind of hate that it’s so nice. It’ll make it harder to want to find my own place once I get enough money saved up.
I walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator. There’s a row of condiments in the door, a box of leftover pizza on the middle shelf, and a completely empty gallon of milk still sitting on the top shelf.
Of course he doesn’t have groceries. I can’t have expected him to change completely.
I grab a bottled water and exit the kitchen to go search for the room I’ll be living in for the next few months. There are two bedrooms, so I take the one that isn’t Corbin’s and set my suitcase on top of the bed. I have about three more suitcases and at least six boxes down in the car, not to mention all my clothes on hangers, but I’m not about to attempt those tonight. Corbin said he’d be back in the morning, so I’ll leave that to him.
I change into a pair of sweats and a tank top, then brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Normally, I would be nervous about the fact that there’s a stranger in the same apartment I’m in, but I have a feeling I don’t need to worry. Corbin would never ask me to help someone he felt might be a threat to me in any way. Which confuses me, because if this is common behavior for Miles, I’m surprised Corbin asked me to bring him inside.
Corbin has never trusted guys with me, and I blame Blake for that. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was fifteen, and he was Corbin’s best friend. Blake was seventeen, and I had a huge crush on him for months. Of course, my friends and I had huge crushes on most of Corbin’s friends, simply because they were older than we were.
Blake would come over most weekends to stay the night with Corbin, and we always seemed to find a way to spend time together when Corbin wasn’t paying attention. One thing led to another, and after several weekends of sneaking around, Blake told me he wanted to make our relationship official. The problem Blake didn’t foresee was how Corbin would react once Blake broke my heart.
And boy, did he break it. As much as a fifteen-year-old heart can be broken after the span of a two-week secret relationship. Turned out he was officially dating quite a few girls during the two weeks he was with me. Once Corbin found out, their friendship was over, and all of Corbin’s friends were warned not to come near me. I found it almost impossible to date in high school until after Corbin finally moved away. Even then, though, the guys had heard horror stories and tended to steer clear of Corbin’s little sister.
As much as I hated it then, I would more than welcome it now. I’ve had my fair share of relationships go wrong since high school. I lived with my most recent boyfriend for more than a year before we realized we wanted two separate things out of life. He wanted me home. I wanted a career.
So now I’m here. Pursuing my master’s degree in nursing and doing whatever I can to avoid relationships. Maybe living with Corbin won’t be such a bad thing after all.
I head back to the living room to turn out the lights, but when I’ve rounded the corner, I come to an immediate halt.
Not only is Miles up off the floor, but he’s in the kitchen, with his head pressed against his arms and his arms folded on top of the kitchen counter. He’s seated on the edge of a bar stool, and he looks as if he’s about to fall off it any second. I can’t tell if he’s sleeping again or just attempting to recover.
“Miles?”
He doesn’t move when I call his name, so I walk toward him and gently lay my hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. The second my fingers squeeze his shoulder, he gasps and sits up straight as if I just woke him from the middle of a dream.
Or a nightmare.
Immediately, he slides off the stool and onto very unstable legs. He begins to sway, so I throw his arm over my shoulder and try to walk him out of the kitchen.
“Let’s go to the couch, buddy.”
He drops his forehead to the side of my head and stumbles along with me, making it even harder to hold him up. “My name isn’t Buddy,” he slurs. “It’s Miles.”
We make it to the front of the couch, and I start to peel him off me. “Okay, Miles. Whoever you are. Just go to sleep.”
He falls onto the couch, but he doesn’t let go of my shoulders. I fall with him and immediately attempt to pull away.
“Rachel, don’t,” he begs, grabbing me by the arm, trying to pull me to the couch with him.
“My name isn’t Rachel,” I say, freeing myself from his iron grip. “It’s Tate.” I don’t know why I clarify what my name is, because it’s not likely he’ll remember this conversation tomorrow. I walk to where the throw pillow is and pick it up off the floor.
I pause before handing it back to him, because he’s on his side now, and his face is pressed into the couch cushion. He’s gripping the couch so tightly his knuckles are white. At first, I think he’s about to get sick, but then I realize how incredibly wrong I am.
He’s not sick.
He’s crying.
Hard.
So hard he isn’t even making a sound.
I don’t even know the guy, but the obvious devastation he’s experiencing is difficult to witness. I look down the hallway and back to him, wondering if I should leave him alone in order to give him privacy. The last thing I want to do is get tangled up in someone’s issues. I’ve successfully avoided most forms of drama in my circle of friends up to this point, and I sure as hell don’t want to start now. My first instinct is to walk away, but for some reason, I find myself oddly sympathetic toward him. His pain actually appears genuine and not just the result of an overconsumption of alcohol.
I lower myself to my knees in front of him and touch his shoulder. “Miles?”
He inhales a huge breath, slowly lifting his face to look at me. His eyes are mere slits and bloodshot red. I’m not sure if that’s a result of the crying or the alcohol. “I’m so sorry, Rachel,” he says, lifting a hand out toward me. He wraps it around the back of my neck and pulls me forward toward him, burying his face in the crevice between my neck and shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
I have no idea who Rachel is or what he did to her, but if he’s hurting this bad, I shudder to think what she’s feeling. I’m tempted to find his phone and search for her name and call her so she can come rectify this. Instead, I gently push him back into the couch. I lay his pillow down and urge him onto it. “Go to sleep, Miles,” I say gently.
His eyes are so full of hurt when he drops to the pillow. “You hate me so much,” he says as he grabs my hand. His eyes fall shut again, and he releases a heavy sigh.
I stare at him silently, allowing him to keep hold of my hand until he’s quiet and still and there aren’t any more tears. I pull my hand away from his, but I stay by his side for a few minutes longer.
Even though he’s asleep, he somehow still looks as if he’s in a world of pain. His eyebrows are furrowed, and his breathing is sporadic, failing to fall into a peaceful pattern.
For the first time, I notice a faint, jagged scar, about four inches long, that runs smoothly across the entire right side of his jaw. It stops just two inches shy of his lips. I have the strange urge to touch it and run my finger down the length of it, but instead, my hand reaches up to his hair. It’s short on the sides, a little longer on the top, and just the perfect blend of brown and blond. I stroke his hair, comforting him, even though he may not deserve it.
This guy may deserve every single bit of the remorse he’s feeling for whatever he did to Rachel, but at least he’s feeling it. I have to give him that much.
Whatever he did to Rachel, at least he loves her enough to regret it.
….
Note: Above are quotes and excerpts from the book “Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover”. If you find it interesting and useful, don’t forget to buy paper books to support the Author and Publisher!
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